Monday, November 30

Back Again!

My life continues to spin out of control......I am living from event to event on the calendar....this is not a good thing, no pre planning, no organization, no good at all.
ARRRGH! I feel like an over dramatic cartoon character.

Lots of phone calls to make, a house to clean, and stuff to mail......
then to decorate for Christmas...the decoration boxes have been littering the floor since Saturday night and no decorating to show. How many days till Christmas....25.

Friday, November 20

What Will Your Legacy Be?

I received the following in my e-mail yesterday. It made me think...which I like.
After the events of the past week this article really hit home with me. I truly know that it is more important to leave your family with a legacy of love, a moral legacy, and a spiritual legacy than it is to leave your family a material or monetary legacy.

Dr. Gary Chapman has written several books. I love his book "The Five Love Languages." It has helped me in all of my relationships, but especially my relationships with my family. This article has been adapted from his book "Parenting your Adult Children: Helping Them Reach Their Full Potential." I guess I am going to have to read this one as well. It addresses my stage in life and my need to help my children be their best.
It is more important to leave my family with a non tangible legacy that it is a material legacy. When all is said and done I want my family to be impacted for the good by the example and life I have lead.
Your Legacy, Your Children

Upon their deaths, most couples leave some material legacy to their children, whether money, clothes, furniture, or cars. Sometimes the legacy can be a small but meaningful gift. John, a fifty-four-old bricklayer, buried his seventy-eight-year-old father a year after his mother died. His father had lived in a nursing home for several years; his money had run out and he was on Medicaid for most of that time.

"Before he died," John recalled, "he told me he wanted me to have his wedding band. After his death, I went to the nursing home. They gave me a bag with Dad's clothes. At the bottom was a small plastic bag containing his wedding band. Now that ring is on my dresser and I look at it every day and remind myself of Dad's faithful marriage to Mom for over fifty years. I think about all he did for me, and pray that I will be the kind of husband and father he was." John's words tell of a legacy far more valuable than material property, of which the ring was a symbol.

A legacy is an inheritance handed down from one generation to the next. In a legal sense, a legacy is a deposition of personal property that is made by terms of a will. But its impact is usually much deeper - our legacy will have a powerful influence on the lives of those who follow us.

The most important legacies are not monetary, but emotional, spiritual, and moral, and they center around the character of the person leaving them. Legacies from the past affect a family's future. We all know families with longstanding reputations of good character - kindness, honesty, and decency. On the other hand, we all know families who received a negative legacy of character and behavior. While we like to believe that an individual can overcome any disadvantage, we all know that the legacy we receive can be either a blessing or a curse on our lives. What changes do you need to make in your life or your marriage in order to leave a positive legacy for your children?

What's Your Moral Code?

Morality has to do with our belief of what is right and wrong. The moral legacy we leave our children - how well they internalize our standards of right and wrong - usually reflects how well we modeled our own moral code. Our children discover our moral code by listening to us. When we say, "Don't steal," we are revealing that we believe stealing is wrong. Children then observe our lives and see how closely we live by our stated beliefs.
Beth said about her mother, "I know that my mother was not perfect, but she came as close as anyone I've ever known. She taught us what was right and wrong and, more importantly, she modeled it for us. On the occasions when she did wrong, she always admitted it and asked our forgiveness." Beth has received a positive moral legacy from her mother. It doesn't require perfection, but it does require admitting your failures and asking for forgiveness. Children are willing to forgive when we are willing to confess.

Do You Role Model Your Spirituality?

Spirituality has to do with what we believe about God. It affects everything else we do. In today's culture, children will be exposed to many religious beliefs. Whether they embrace them will be influenced by the legacy left by their parents.

The spiritual legacy we leave our children is determined by how closely our behavior correlates with our expressed beliefs. When Rick was twenty-three, his mother died. "One thing I know for sure," he said. "My mother is in heaven. When I was little, she read Bible stories to me every night. She told me about the teachings of Jesus, about His death and resurrection, about God's love and forgiveness. But more importantly, she lived her Christian faith. I saw her practice her beliefs every day. Even in her sickness, her faith was strong. I know I will see her in heaven." Rick received a strong spiritual legacy from his mother. What will your children say about you?

Adapted from Parenting Your Adult Child:How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Tuesday, November 17

Life Moves On

Today I have a funeral headache yesterday but today the headache and body ache are overwhelming.

The day for the most part was bittersweet....good byes to Grandma were not fun.....but the memories are fantastic.

A couple of the best memories I will always have of the day are the thick feeling of family love. One of the Uncles said that this is what the day felt like, a day of love.
Another memory will always be my opportunity to lead the congregational singing. I was fine with the idea until i got up to do it and looked down at all the 'boobs' in the family crying....I looked at Gary and he was tearing up, so next at Megan who was even worse, mom was really bad as was everyone else. We were singing one Grandmas favorites "Because I Have Been Given Much" pg. 219. Since the introduction was coming to a close i knew i had to pull it together fast....I looked up and saw a beautifully smiling face in the audience....sitting there smiling at me was Grandmas friend Marjean Toone. Her smile kept me focused and in control for the whole song and for the closing song, "Love One Another" pg. 308. Later I told Marjean thank you for being the smiling face in the audience that I could connect with. She told me that she looked up at me and knew that it was going to be hard so she put a smile on her face and hoped that I would look at her.
She then told me a sweet story about taking Grandma to work at the temple for the first time. Grandma didn't want to be separated from her friend. She was nervous and told Marjean the whole way into Salt Lake that she wanted her locker to be near hers. Marjean told her that there were no empty lockers near hers, but all would be okay. Grandma kept saying that she was going to get things changed and that if they didn't she wasn't going to stay. Marjean says that she went to the locker room to change and waited and waited but no Grandma. She went to prayer meeting and looked around but no Grandma. She thought 'well she went home.' Just then Grandma came into the room all dressed and smiling. Marjean asked her if she got things all taken care of with the changing of the lockers. Grandma told her I couldn't change lockers, I was assigned locker 219....

For family home evening we went to Paces for a flatty with J & L, Mom, Adam and his family. It was a nice way to end our day laughing and talking about Grandma a life.

I am so thankful for belonging to a wonderful legacy of love and faith.

My goal with the coming birth of our first grand baby is to be a grandma like my Grandma Butters.

Thursday, November 12

Finding Joy In The Journey

"Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."
--Thomas S. Monson

Wednesday, November 11

Grandma Butters

Grandandma Butters passed away was a bittersweet day for all.
Grandma Butters you will be missed.
Granny B was one of the great ones. This noble lady exhibited grace, wit and wisdom to the end. Her example of a valiant lady, who endured gracefully through her mortal life is one I want to emulate.
I know that she loved me, all of the family, Grandpa Butters and the gospel.
She showed that love by word and deed.
Grandma would have been 94 years old on Friday November 13....she had a long liver.....
She was born in Morgan Utah in 1915 to George Sylvester and Elsie Clawson.
She would speak of her life in Morgan with a light in her eyes, remembering the fun with family and friends at Como Springs, being the Drum Majorette for the Marching Band with Grandpa Butters as the Drum Major. recently she told me that she was Queen of the May....the most popular girl in school. A couple of years ago she told my boys a racy story about being a true red head, which was probably not true but fun none the less.......of course when I told Hayden about her being the Queen of the May, the most popular girl in school he said of course she was, she let those trumpet players know that she was a real red head......oh grandma is all I thought.
On October 23, 1933 she married N. Grant Butters her high school sweetheart. They lived in Green River Wyoming and eventually moved to Bountiful Utah where they raised their family and she lived until her death.

To me Grandma was the most beautiful lady there was inside and out. She was known for her flaming red hair, her flawless alabaster skin, and her razor sharp wit. The stories of her and her doings are legendary. She was not only quick with a witty comment, but quick to help and serve those around her.
Grandma served as a ward choir director for at least 40 years... she told me that when she was called she took a course on choir directing from a famous man in Salt Lake. She was an awesome chior director and musician. Her ward choirs were standing room only, everyone wanted to be directed and loved on by Eulala. Her love for music and singing didn't stop with the ward she was also a part of the Sweet Adalines and a nationaly famous, award winning Quartet "the Classics". I remember those 4 beautiful red heads singing harmonies at my home being choreographed by my mom. I loved to hear them sing. When I was 17 year old Grandma and Grandpa took Melinda, Krystin and Myself on a road trip to Northern California to see our cousin Cindy. On that trip Grandma and Grandpa thought it would easy to teach the three of us some simple harmonies ....."we will meet but we will miss him"....boy were they wrong. Melinda was the only one of us who got it, Krystin and myself were complete disasters. Several years later she encouraged my Mom Sheri and us girls. Melinda, Elizabeth, Angela, Adam's wife Christine and myself to form a singing group....and the Cole Collection was born. For several years we all sang together mostly at Christmas time. When Grandma joined with us to sing for a few years it was so much fun. she would tells us stories of her days singing with the quartet. One of my greatest joys sing happened when not only grandma was singing with us but my daughter Megan joined us as well, 4 generations singing together. I could go on and on with wonderful stories of my grandma.
Things that will always bring Grandma to mind are: Almonds, Sweet Aloha-diet pepsi/coke, Strawberries, Twizzlers licorice red & chocolate, Humbugs, roses, Choirs, Sunday Roast, Rolls, Bring and Brag dinners, Crossword puzzles, Creative game playing or cheating, Flocked Golden Christmas Tree, Rose Christmas Tree, Estee Lauder make-up, Red hair, Eating Hot Dogs in the old ZCMI basement, Grocery shopping, Swimming Pool, Contents of her Purse, turquoise paint on the flagstone patio..........
For 20 years I have had the honor of doing grandmas nails every two to three weeks. As I held her hands I learned about her, her past, her present and her hopes for the future. I was privileged at these times to listen to her wisdom and advice on marriage, motherhood, the church, the gospel, family, etc.... She would tell me of her sorrows and her joys. The best part was when she would tell me how proud she was of us, her family.

This is how I will always remember and think of my Grandma & Grandpa Butters.
For years Grandma and Grandpa were Dance Directors for the Church. They served on the General Board and that is where they met the couples that became the Bring and Brag group. Grandma always told me that Grandpa was the best dancer ever and all the girls in High School were jealous of her for getting to dance with Grant.
........I like to think of them now dancing together forever through eternity.

I love you Grandma and will miss you. I know that you are now happy to be reunited with Grandpa. That your old mortal body that was giving you pain is now gone, that your spirit is now perfect and free to truly be you.
May I always honor your memory by being a little bit like you in all that I do.

Monday, November 9


It's Thankful Month and boy do I have tons (or heaps) to be thankful for!

FAMILY...always number one on the list..........what would I do without them? Their Love, Support, Example, Help, Kindness, Attitude, Prayers, etc...... I couldn't live without.
My family immediate and extended are not a good way. I think we like each other, we support each other, we are each others BFF's......which according to my other friends is not normal. Apparently you are supposed to dislike your family, think of them as a nuisance, you can't count on them......Not my family. I believe we are a very close supportive family because of how we were the end...the very end....endure to the end up with your family, so you might as well figure them out while here on earth and practice being together forever.


Thursday, November 5

Girls Day(s)

Off for a day of fun with Megan and Laurie. It is going to be a whole weekend of fun with the Girls because tomorrow we start our annual sisters trip.
It has been an great year with Laurie as an official family member.....I knew I would eventually get other daughters, but this won is tops!
The three of us all seem to get along which I am sure is a relief to Jordan. I remember him dating one girl who we all liked and then he abruptly stopped dating her. When we asked him why he said well she just wouldn't fit in with us. I am glad to know that he knew that was an important requisite in a wife....I hope the others figure this out as well.

It's time to go, Laurie is here so we are off to shop and eat and dream.....


Wednesday, November 4

Wednesday Weigh in

1 more pound down....YEAH!
My goal is 14 more pound gone by the end of the year!
I know that this will take lots of control during this holiday season, but I can do it.

Th biggest problem/blessing of losing weight is the clothing issue....i know I sound like a broken record......but I don't want to spend money on things I won't wear for very long, but I do need a few things to get me through this period.

This weekend is the sisters to shop and park City with the sisters and Megan and will be so much fun....I am only purchasing shoes and jewelry.


Tuesday, November 3

A New Driver!

It was Hayden's 16th birthday yesterday afternoon I went with him to the DMV and he is now a legal driver.
When everyone else in the house is a legal driver it is kind of hard remembering that Hayden is dependant on us to get to and from more, now he just wants to know what car he can take.

This morning it all began with "Me, Car, to School, your thoughts." He is a teenager you can tell from his sentence structure.....anyway we let him take the Smart Car to School.
As I watched him back out of the driveway I thought he is growing up......I wasn't worried about his skills as a driver, Hayden is a good driver. He has done a lot of it. We let the kids drive too and from the Theatre when they are learning to drive so the get a lot of time behind the wheel on and off the freeway.....which can be the scariest part of driving.
All of my kids have been good beginning drivers...unlike their mother. In the first few years of driving Jordan received the most tickets for speeding, dumb things and wrecks. Megan had and still has had no tickets and has only been a passenger for the wrecks. Nelson - no tickets, but had a fender bender coming out of the high school. Hopefully Hayden will be like Megan, then again he is a boy and their insurance rates are higher for a reason......
The good thing about Hayden is that he is a rule follower.....the current state law is no driving anyone but immediate family for the first 6 months you have your I know that he won't be dragging kids too and from school and getting into trouble..... He gets excited when people don't follow the speed limit....he will say "It is called a speed limit not a speed suggestion." He seems to err on the side of caution which is really no error at all. I hope that he continues on in his law abiding cautious ways.

The hardest part of of this driving thing is that my baby boy is growing up...... I want him too grow up, but at the same time a small part of me wishes that he was still my little buddy who did everything with me, who was dependant on me, who was the perfect little gentleman where ever we went.....he still is a gentleman......but he's no longer little.

Time drives on.......and also Hayden!